Dark Dreams of Jenova
by chibipinkbunny
Summary: Jenova has her way with Cloud.  Includes mind-rape and psychological torture.  A hint of Cloti if you squint.


**A/N: **The setting for this piece is Crisis Core, and it takes place while Zack and Cloud are on the run. This is a segment from my story, "In the Shadow of Freedom," adapted to a one-shot. If you read my story then you will have read something very similar to this. I did this because I thought there might be some interest in Jenova/Cloud outside the Cloud/Zack fandom.

**Dark Dreams of Jenova**

_**Beta Readers: Cookiecat, Blue Jae, and Demonegg**_

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As morning dawned, a thick mist rolled down from the hills, covering the forest like a burial shroud. The lingering moisture was so thick they could barely breathe. Visibility was now next to none, so Zack listened attentively to their surroundings. It was quiet now, deathly silent save for the snap of twigs under their feet and the occasional moan from Cloud.

As of yet there had been no signs of ShinRa, but he knew they couldn't be far behind. Any minute now and hoards of ShinRa grunts were going to ambush them, springing out of the bushes and running down the hills. But the attack never came, and the anticipation of their eminent doom had Zack on edge. It didn't help that they hadn't eaten or taken a break for hours, and the effects of exhaustion were wearing them down.

Just then, without warning, Cloud's grip on Zack loosened. His knees buckled, and he came crashing down. Quick on his feet, Zack managed to prevent his friend from doing a face-plant into the ground. After re-positioning himself, Zack managed to grab Cloud and carry him over to a tree. The ground everywhere was soft, so Zack had a bit of a struggle in propping him up.

Crouching back on his heels, Zack brushed the wet strands of hair out of Cloud's face. His cheeks were stained a sickly pink, and beads of sweat delineated the outline of his face. Placing the back of his palm against Cloud's forehead, he could feel the heat against his hand. Taking a sharp indrawn breath, he looked around for something he could use to cool him down. Most of their possessions were still sopping wet, but they weren't of practical use as a cold compress.

A moment later, an idea came to Zack and he retrieved the blanket. It proved to be a bit wieldy as he folded the thick material over itself, but he managed to get it in the shape of a haphazardly arranged rectangle. After laying Cloud down, he placed it on Cloud's forehead and said softly, "This should make you feel better."

Cloud didn't even flinch. Instead he remained still, almost too still. It made Zack fear that Cloud might have lost control of himself once again. He lifted Cloud's eyelids and was relieved to find that his pupils were still round and reactive to light.

Zack looked up at the forest around them. The mist was still thick as soup, and he could only see a few feet in front of him. It worked to both their advantage and Shinra's as well. For now this would do, but they couldn't stay here for more than a few minutes.

Zack reached down and grabbed up one of Cloud's limp hands and held onto it tightly. For all of his best intentions, Zack couldn't save Cloud from himself, or from the demons within.

_**.:`'~ ж~'`:...:`'~ ж~'`:...:`'~ ж~'`:.**_

_The moon crept into the sky. Haunting the horizon, pale as snow, her glow illuminated the night, while the stars lingered in her shadow._

_Cloud awoke to find himself trapped under Zack's arm. He looked up at the sky for a moment, before summoning the strength to wrest himself from Zack's vice-like grip. "Damn it Zack, I'm not your teddy bear, or your girlfriend." Glancing over at his sleeping friend, he thought, 'Must have rolled over in his sleep or something.'_

_Cloud gazed at the sky. The constellations manifested as figures in the night, sparkling like diamonds on black silk, gallivanting about while those on Gaia marveled at their presence. There was the hero Orion, most brilliant of the night, stretching his arms out over a vast expanse of sky, fighting the snorting charge of Taurus the bull. Cloud wished that he could be a hero, if not for himself then for a certain girl. _

_He looked over at Zack and realized with fatalistic certainty he would never make it into SOLDIER. Zack was everything he wasn't, strong, charismatic, and brave. _

_Startling him out of his thoughts was a voice that sounded throughout the forest, as if it was coming from everywhere at once. It was both strong and feminine, and the familiarity of it struck him hard. _

_Piercing through the silence, the voice came again. "Cloud!" _

_Scanning the forest, he saw a lone figure emerge, slender hips clad in a short skirt, ample breasts held in place by a vest, and a cowboy hat and boots to tie it all together. The name was already on his lips before he spoke, "Tifa."_

"_It's been a while Cloud," she said, a shy smile on her lips. She stepped towards him, and Cloud gulped hard. _

_His voice cracked as he uttered her name once more, "Tifa." The color had drained out of his face and he stood staring at her, unblinking, in disbelief. _

_Sweetly, she asked, "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." _

"_I'm just surprised that you're here. I thought you were. . ."_

"_Gone?" Taking another step forward, she grabbed Cloud's hands and intertwined her fingers with his. _

_Startled, he gasped. Seconds passed before his eyes found her once more, and before he knew it, he was losing himself in her essence. She was warm and sweet, reminiscent of his mother's warm apple pies, something he had waited all day to taste, but he dared not for he feared it was too good to be real. In the end, it was never as he imagined, but that didn't stop the want of it and he wanted her now more than anything. _

_The wait had been many years now, and his hunger for her burned with a primal ferocity. He longed to taste her smooth creamy skin, run his hand along her curves, and touch her sensitive skin. She was here and they were now, and this moment felt real, but something in his gut felt so wrong. When had Tifa ever held his hand? _

_He didn't want to ruin the moment for perhaps a moment was all they had, so he hushed the nagging voice of logic inside his head, and just let himself be. She moved closer, and he followed suit, until they were pressed up against each other, two burning hearts in the dark of the night. His hands, tremulous, slid down her waist to the small of her back. _

_With a voice barely above a whisper, he said, "Tifa, I. . ." He licked the chapped flesh of his thin lips and started over. "Tifa, I. . . "_

_Pressing a finger against his lips, she said, "It's okay Cloud. I know. I've always known." She looked up at him and smiled. His hands found the strength they were looking for and he pulled her closer. Their lips met in an awkward exchange of tongues and saliva._

_She pulled back and laughed softly. "You're a sloppy kisser." Embarrassed, his grip on her slackened, and he looked down at his feet. This wasn't the way he had imagined it._

_Her hands slid up his chest in a soft caress, and she said, "Don't worry, I liked it. Let's do it again." _

_Now his head was swimming, and his face was red from the flush of adrenaline. His feet, firmly planted on the ground, felt like they were losing their grip on the grass beneath, and the only keeping him from floating away in a blissful reverie was his firm hold on Tifa. Pulling her closer, snug against him, he leaned in for another kiss. _

_It was the desire of youth, unfilled passion quenched by hasty, hungry kisses. All he could taste, smell, and feel was her, so he drank her in, as a man stranded in the desert, parched, would drink a glass of water. _

_Off in the distance, the lone howl of a Nibel wolf reverberated through the air, solemn, the cry of a creature searching for others of its kind. _

_They paused, momentarily, and Tifa said, "We should probably go home." _

_It took Cloud a moment to respond. The whole thing ended as mysteriously as it had started, and he was struggling to make something of it, but the intoxicating effects of love kept him from thinking clearly. He nodded. "Sure, just let me go get Zack."_

"_Oh, I was sort of thinking we could walk home alone," she said with beguiling sweetness. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned in, and brushed her lips against his. She whispered, her breath gusting over him, warm and sweet, "You know, just you and me."_

_Cloud's heart hammered heavily in his chest. He turned to the side and looked over at Zack. Under the pale light of the moon, his still frame looked fragile, like a sleeping tiger, its vulnerability only apparent during intervals of rest. He couldn't leave his friend behind, not now, not like this. Gently pushing her away, he said, "Hang on, it will only take a second._

_Before she could protest, he was making his way towards Zack in bounding strides. Now in close proximity, his friend looked still, deathly still. Cloud bent over, and gave him a hard shake, "Zack, come on wake up." He didn't move. Upon closer inspection, Zack's skin and lips were tinged a __purplish-blue, the color of someone gasping for air,__ only he wasn't gasping. He wasn't even breathing. Cloud reached down to palpate the radial pulse on Zack's wrist, but there was nothing, not even a faint throb of life. _

_Cloud turned around and yelled for Tifa, but she was nowhere to be found. He'd never felt more alone before. It dawned on him with sudden certainty that no one was coming to help him. The task of saving his friend was his and his alone. _

_Memories of a CPR training class rushed to the forefront of his mind. The cool night air suddenly felt clammy as Cloud rolled up his sleeves in preparation of resuscitating his friend. Placing the heel of one hand on his friend's sternum, he interlaced the other and pressed down hard, once, twice, keeping a steady rhythm all the way up to thirty chest compressions. Then he pinched his friend's nose and blew two full breaths of air into his lungs. He felt for a pulse, as faint as it might be, but there was nothing. _

_Throwing himself into the act, he started the process once more. "Come on Zack, you can't die on me," he said in heavy, panting breaths between compressions. "You promised you wouldn't leave me, you promised, you promised, you promised. . . " His words continued, a mantra to focus his energy, as he tried to pump the life back into his friend. _

_After several rounds of agonizing labor, he eventually found a pulse, Zack's heart was beating once more. He gave his friend a shake, "Gods Zack, you're alive!"_

_A painful moan escaped from Zack's lips, and Cloud realized Zack still wasn't out of danger. He needed medical attention, but surrounding them was nothing but grass, and trees, and sky. He didn't know the way into town, but he figured if he kept walking he would run into one eventually. It was the only choice he had for survival. _

_Squatting down, Cloud positioned his friend in a manner conducive to standing up, and with Zack's arm looped around his shoulders they rose together. They lurched forward, one man supporting the weight of two, as they moved through the forest with heavy steps. _

_The once brightly lit sky started to fade, and the night grew suddenly dark. Cloud looked up to see the stars disappearing, dying orbs of light fading into the cold space around them. He pulled Zack behind a tree and watched with horror as the world imploded before his very eyes. _

_Surrounding him now was an all consuming darkness, a void that had never known light. Beneath him, he could feel Zack's huddled form, breathing, taking slow shallow breaths. He tightened his grip and spoke to him without words: "Hang on Zack, don't die on me now. I'll find help." _

_As he struggled to make sense of their current atmosphere, he saw a figure enrobed in light emerge from the darkness, apparition-like, materializing out of the air. Her blonde hair hung loosely about her small face, accentuating her blue eyes, which sparkled despite the fine wrinkles etched in her face, a part of her soul that the rough mountain life couldn't touch. He recognized her at once. His voice came out in a choked whisper, "Mom?"_

"_That's right Cloud, it's me."_

_His heart was too full for words. After setting Zack down, he turned to face her, mouth open in quiet astonishment. _

_She reached a hand out and softly cupped his cheek. "I've missed you son." _

_Leaning into her touch, he said, "I've missed you too mom."_

"_Come with me and leave your past behind. We can go back home and everything will be as it was before. Wouldn't you like that?"_

_He paused and took a step back, not even aware he had done so. "What about Zack?"_

"_What about him?" she asked, mirroring his somber sentiment. _

_With hesitation, he replied, almost as if he was embarrassed, "He's my friend. . ."_

"_Your friend is he?" She laughed, high and thin, piercing the impenetrable darkness. "Where was he when you were alone for all those years of your life? Where was he when we had to scrape by for a week on a loaf of bread? Where was he when you were up in your room crying because you were the only kid in town not invited to Tifa's eighth birthday party? Where was he when you really needed someone?"_

_Cloud opened his mouth to respond, but thought better of it and remained silent. _

"_That's right, but who was there for you?"_

"_You were mom. . ."_

_Her eyes sparkled, "Always." She stepped forward and offered an embrace. "Come here my child." He walked into her arms, docile, with the unquestioning loyalty of a child, instinct that acts, not speaks. Her voice was soft and comforting now. "You are special. I knew it from the day I first laid eyes on you. You were meant for greater things than this world can offer you. I can make you live up to your potential, make you the man you always wanted to be." She paused, the silence deafening. "Remember what it felt like to be weak? Like that time you failed to save Tifa on the bridge."_

_Something within his chest tightened, and he found it hard to breathe, as if the air had become thick and viscous, and each sucking breath took painstaking effort. He couldn't see it, but her lips curled into a smile. _

_The softness from her voice disappeared, and all that was left was a sharp accusing tone. "You trailed after her like some lovesick puppy dog with the notion of keeping her safe, but that's not what happened, is it? That bridge was rickety and old. You insisted she stay back, but she was too intent on seeing her mother to listen." Her words felt like lashings, each one coming down and tearing into scarred flesh, wounds healed over from years ago. Cloud's whole body went rigid as she continued to speak. "The plank broke right under her feet. She was left hanging over a small mountain cliff. You rushed to save her, but you weren't strong enough, were you?" _

"_No. . . " he gasped, his voice filled with the agony of a man who had spent his whole life in regret._

_As if spurned on by his torment, she spoke at faster pace. "Her little hands hanging desperately onto the edge of the plank. She cries for help, her small voice barely audible above the roaring wind, tears in her eyes as she begs for you to save her. You rush to her side."_

"_Stop it!"_

_Her verbal lashings continued, sharp and stinging, bearing down relentless and without mercy. "Without thinking, you grab onto her hands, and try to pull her up, but your measly chicken-bone arms don't have the strength. Your arms are shaking with fatigue as you desperately rack your brain for some solution to the problem."_

"_No!" His cry clung to the air, the way a dying leaf falls off a tree, a slow and sustained fall. He started to pull away, but she only held onto him tighter. _

_A moment of silence, profoundly still, before she continued, "It's too much. She eventually pulls you over and you both fall to the bottom of the cliff."_

"_NO!" Cloud twisted himself from her grasp, panting, taking in more air than he could exhale. He could see Tifa now, in the darkness, her fragile limbs splayed out in an unnatural position, and her pallid visage, so deathly pale. Then the taunting accusations that followed, and he, just a small boy of nine, had to endure the hatred of the whole town. _

_Realization struck him suddenly. He never told. He never told a single soul _

_He looked up to find her smiling, victorious, as if she had won something. Straightening up, he glared back at her. He could see her now as she really was. Despite wearing the mask of his mother, she had a look about her that was not quite human, eyes that shined too bright, and a smile painted on, doll-like, an imitation of the real thing, an attempt at being human. In a tone deathly serious, he said, "I never told anyone about that. My mother never knew."_

_Her smile spread from ear to ear. "A good mother would have known." _

"_Fuck," he growled, "You're not my mother!"_

_Ever calm, she kept her composure as she replied, "Oh Cloud, that's not a nice way to talk to your mother."_

"_What do you want from me?"_

"_What do I want from you?" She laughed, bordering on maniacal. "What I want Cloud is for you to obey me."_

_Behind his clenched fists and flared nostrils lurked a profound fear, but he wouldn't let her know. He replied, his voice stoic, "Never." _

"_We'll see about that. That's what they all say at first." __She hid a laugh behind her cool and level demeanor.__ "Don't worry, I'm patient. You see Cloud, I am older than time itself. I have existed long before this planet, and I'll exist long after it has turned to dust. I can wait it out." _

"_I'd rather die first."_

"_Have it your way. Of course, it looks like your friend over there couldn't wait."_

_Acting out of instinct, he puffed up his chest to make himself appear bigger, the same way a cat raises its fur and arches its back before a fight. "Bring Zack back."_

_With a smirk she replied, __ "Well now, you're not in the place to be making demands." _

_Anger coiled within his belly, so tense now he felt like he could burst. He pounced on her, his fists raining down only to be deflected by an invisible shield. "You stupid bitch!"_

"_You'll have to try harder than that," she said with a laugh, amused. _

_He threw his fists down. Taking a step back, he studied her expression, her face inscrutable, eyes cold and without reflection, merciless. He said nothing._

"_You know there is another way." _

"_Like I said, I'd rather die than be your slave," he spat._

"_Ha! You fool, it's not your life we're talking about here," she gestured over to Zack, "it's his."_

_Cloud looked over at his friend. In the dim light there was no shadow, just the faint outline of a still form, not yet rigid with death. Zack had sacrificed everything for him. A thick lump arose in his throat. He swallowed, but it didn't go away. He turned to face her. _

"_Okay, name your price." _

"_It's something small. You won't really miss it. Just a few memories. In fact, you won't even remember it." _

_He flinched, infinitesimally, and then met her gaze straight-on. "How do I know I can trust you?"_

"_What other choice do you have?"_

_Struggling to hide a pained grimace, he gave a sharp nod of the head. _

"_As you wish." _

_With the abruptness of a thunderclap, the silence was filled with voices, a myriad number from different periods in his life. As they grew in volume, they lost their distinction and melded into one large sound, booming, throbbing in his ears, like an ice-pick driving through his brain. Holding his ears, he dropped to his knees and screamed. _

_**.:`'~ ж~'`:...:`'~ ж~'`:...:`'~ ж~'`:.**_

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey Cloud!" Zack gave his friend a quick shake. "Wake up buddy, it's just a dream."

His anguished cry softened. Then he began babbling, his voice bubbling over, like a shallow brook flooded in the winter, unable to control the torrent. "Zack. . . nnnn. . . don't go. . . don't. . . nnnnggggg. . . Zack."

Grabbing up Cloud's hand, Zack squeezed it firmly in affirmation of his presence. In a faint, but distinguishable gesture, Cloud responded by squeezing back. Zack smiled, ever so slight.

"Looks like your fever is gone," Zack said, feeling Cloud's forehead with the back of his palm. "Alright, well then looks like we're ready to go."


End file.
